Top Things to Avoid Saying to a Pregnant Woman…or at Least to Me While I’m Pregnant

When a woman is visibly pregnant, the door seems to swing wide open with an open invitation for all to comment.  Whether these comments come from well-intended family, curious friends or just very nosy strangers, there are a good handful of things that I personally don’t like to hear while pregnant.


Here are my top things to avoid saying to a woman who is pregnant:

1.  “Are you sure you aren’t carrying twins?” This is the ultimate stab in the heart for a pregnant woman…especially if she’s already feeling bloated and uncomfortable.  You’ve basically told her she looks like a beached whale and have most likely shot her self-esteem down to her developing cankles.

2.  “You can’t do that!  You’re pregnant!  You should really slow down.”  It’s one thing if you see a pregnant woman smoking a pack of cigarettes while taking shots.  But it’s quite another if you simply see her cleaning out her garage, picking up another child, or even running a marathon (if that’s the kind of thing she likes to do).  If a pregnant woman is up and moving and feels great conquering the world, more power to her!  Don’t discourage her with cockamamie  “but you’re pregnant” nonsense.  She’ll sit down when she’s tired enough.  Trust me, she will.

3.  “That’s ok, you’re eating for two!” (After said pregnant woman complains of looking fat).  Please, just tell her she’s glowing and looks beautiful, even if you happen to agree that she’s gained a few too many extra pounds.  This is NOT the time for the cold hard truth about weight gain.

4.  “Are you sure you should be doing (lifting, touching, moving) that?”  If there were ever a time for a woman to feel empowered for accomplishing daily activities, it’s when she’s pregnant and in nesting mode.  While I don’t recommend trying the move a car with bare hands or lifting heavy boxes while pregnant, I say never ask a pregnant woman this simply for the fact that she’s about to be a very busy mother who will be standing, sitting, squatting, lifting, pushing and pulling on a daily basis and probably through her next pregnancy.  Trust her while she figures things out.

5.  “You’re finished after this one, right?” I have one thing to say to the person who asks this.  “It’s none of your f*cking business”.

6.  “You’re going to have your hands full!  You better enjoy your life now while you still have it!”  Excuse me, did you just say my life as I know it will be over?  Saying this to a pregnant woman is like telling her, “Well you made your bed, now you have to sleep in it!”  Giving birth to a child does change one’s life entirely, but it doesn’t mean that life is less enjoyable for it.  It’s full of joy, heartache, and at times, pure magic.  This experience only grows with multiple children and makes for some wonderful memories along the way.

7.  “Are you sure you’re ready?”  Perhaps you should have asked this BEFORE your friend/sibling/spouse got pregnant.  Instilling doubt in an impending mother’s psyche while she’s pregnant, hormonal and quite vulnerable is a great way to increase her anxiety and drop her self-esteem.  One thing is for certain, no one is ever quite ready or knows what to expect when having a child.  So instead, encourage her, tell her she’s going to be a wonderful mother and that you can’t wait to see her holding her little one in her arms for the first time.  Either way, she will believe you so tell her what she needs to hear.

And these are just a few…

Do you have a funny or offhand comment that was thrown your way during your pregnancy?  SHARE! If you would like to contribute to this list, please send them to me!  I’d love to see what other questions and comments are out there that you’ve heard or experienced first hand!  Send them HERE

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